Update

Hello everyone. Just thought I would take a moment to update you. I am now 1o weeks! That seems like a milestone for us. I can't wait to get into my second trimester, it just seems like everything will be OK if I can just get to 12 + weeks. I doubt my risks change any by getting there, but I will feel better and that is important. We had an ultra sound last week and the doctor did the ultrasound this time. He found more bleeding and he felt like it was coming from the placenta, which sounds so scary but he said he thinks it has something to do with what was going on at the time - the placenta was attaching to the wall of my uterus and where that was happening it looked good and thick and no bleeding- this was on the other side of the sac where the placenta had been in it's beginning stage but the placenta had moved over to the wall of my uterus and this was a part that had broken off. That may be way confusing, sorry if it is. He was concerned, for sure, but he said the odds are still in our favor. I go in Monday for another ultrasound and I am so praying that the blood clot is gone and the new bleeding he saw is gone or smaller and that there is no more bleeding anywhere else, and of course for a strong heart beat for our little miracle! The one thing that gives me such joy and confidence is that I have started to feel fluttering! I have actually felt the baby move from time to time. It isn't often, or regular, and it is just tiny fluttering but it is such a comforting feeling. This is about two weeks earlier than I felt the boys move, and a lot earlier than I felt Billie move, but I think I am able to feel it for several reasons. First, I think God has given me this to help calm my fears and give me peace. Second, I think I am more experienced so I know what to "look" for. And third, I think because I am laying down all of the time and super sensitive to every twitch and pain, I naturally am just more aware of what is going on. I haven't been back to the doctor yet to tell him what I have felt, and he may tell me I am crazy. I do know that a 10 week old baby is capable of movement in-utero.
I went back to school on Wednesday. I only have two hours a day, and I go straight there and then come straight home and back to bed, per doctor's orders. I am actually exhausted each day after school. I guess after doing basically nothing for 5 weeks, anything will wear you out!
Billie's 10th birthday is coming up and we still haven't figured out what we are going to do for it. 10 is a BIG deal, but with me on bed rest it puts a kink in things. We are batting some ideas around and we may end up doing a very small celebration with just grandparents now and then do something bigger when I am well and off of bed rest, if that ever happens!
I will try to update after my ultra sound on Monday. Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Our Christmas Miracle

I haven't blogged in a while because I had only one thing on my mind and I wasn't quite ready to share it with everyone yet. But after getting more wonderful news today, I have decided it is time to tell you all about it. I am sure you all could guess by now, and most would be right! So I will just get right to it - we are expecting a baby in August! We have been very nervous and scared, and I have been on bed rest for about 3 weeks now, but we have had two good ultrasounds with a good strong heartbeat! We are still a little scared, but for the most part we are just so thrilled. We found out four weeks ago. At about 5 weeks in I started bleeding. We were devastated and I was certain I was losing it. All of my earlier miscarriages have been between 5 and 6 weeks. But the doctor reassured us and said bed rest was needed. They did the first ultrasound at 6 weeks and 3 days and we were so relieved to see the heartbeat! They also found the likely source of my bleeding; a blood clot in my uterus. I have been taking injections once a day of a blood thinner called Lovenox since we got the positive pregnancy test and I also take a baby aspirin once a day. For those of you who don't know, I have a clotting disorder called PAI 4g/4g that only is a problem during pregnancy and can cause clots and even miscarriage. So I will stay on the blood thinner for the duration of the pregnancy. The Lovenox doesn't cross the placenta, and the baby aspirin does so it will help to ensure no clots on the baby's end. When we get closer to delivery time, they will change me to heparin which is administered twice a day so it is out of your system sooner to ensure a safe delivery.
We went back to the doctor today for another ultrasound. We are 7 weeks and 4 days and we have a good strong heartbeat. Our chances of miscarriage now are only 5%, and I feel much better after seeing our baby has grown a lot in a week and has a beautiful beating heart. This is also further than I have ever gotten in a pregnancy since I had the boys, so that helps boost my confidence, too. And we are doing everything we can possibly do. I am also on progesterone because my levels were too low, which is probably the reason I lost my earlier pregnancies. While we are still being cautious, we are very optimistic this time. Once we get into the second trimester, I will stop worrying and just relax. That's not too far away!
We had a good Christmas, it was just different. I was very sick and still on bed rest so that put a damper on things. We had our traditional breakfast here at our house, with my mom, Cathie and Matt cooking everything while I laid sick on the couch. Later, Matt took Billie to the cemetery to put wreaths on Michael and the boy's graves and then they went to Bill and Wanda's house for the afternoon. I slept most of the time they were gone. Poor Matt is exhausted trying to work all day and take care of everything at home - plus Christmas! He had to decorate the tree and wrap most everything.
I am still technically on bed rest but they said today I could do a little more than I have been doing since it is having emotional effects on me being down for so long. If the bleeding gets any worse, it is back to straight bed rest, though. I am taking it very slow. I really don't have a lot of energy anyway, I guess from being in bed for so long. Plus I have ALL DAY SICKNESS. Which is good, they say, so I am trying to be thankful for it - but that is quite a challenge! We are so looking forward to a late July/early August baby and are praying everything gets easier and goes very smoothly.
Billie is so excited. We told her after we saw the heartbeat for the first time. She was starting to get worried about me being "sick" and we decided after all she has been through it wasn't fair to let her worry like that. We wanted to protect her from another loss if we could, but after losing a parent she worries about losing me anyway and with me sick on the couch or in the bed nonstop day after day it was hard to watch her worry. She is such a sweet girl. She has been a big help to us, too. She is a little guarded, though, I can tell. She has her own defense mechanisms that have kicked in a little. But after we showed her the ultrasound today with the heartbeat, she seems very relieved and excited. She deserves a brother or sister more than any one ever could.
I have seen God answer so many of my prayers in the last 3 weeks, it is just amazing. God is so good, all of the time. Sometimes, over the past 9 years, I have had to tell myself that over and over again, and still I had a hard time accepting it. But I feel it now more than ever. I feel this baby is the miracle we have been expecting from God.

Happy Thanksgiving

This is Billie at the Fantasy of Trees- her school decorated this tree and we found her ornament and her name on the skirt! She was so PROUD! It was a very cute tree.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. We have had an amazing 3 days. Wednesday Matt and I both only had half days at work/school, so we came home and smoked ribs and a turkey breast. We had Matt's family over for ribs Wednesday night and we had a great time. Then on Thanksgiving we went to Aunt Shirley's for Thanksgiving dinner, and then that night we went to David's house for another Thanksgiving dinner. Friday morning, Kellee and I got at up 2 and went shopping. We were back home by 8:30, and very tired. I went back to bed around 10:30 and got up at 2. While I was taking my long nap, Billie and Matt went swimming with family at their hotel - big fun! Then we went back to David's house for left overs and then we all went to the Fantasy of Trees. It was beautiful this year, and we all had a great time. Billie especially loved shopping in the Secret Santa Shop and making crafts. We usually got to the gala before it opens and they don't have all the crafts and stuff, so this was special and new to her this year. While we did miss getting all dressed up and going to the gala, it was fun to do it this way for a change. Billie is going with Grandma and Grandpa Rosecrance to Dollywood today.
So now it is back to work for me. I have two days of classes left, and two papers and a quiz due in those two days. My first final is Friday! I can't believe this semester is just days away from being over. Then I have to really concentrate on grad school applications. I actually already completed the online application for UT grad school, but I still have to do the Nutrition department application for UT. Then I am planning on applying to the nutrition grad program at GA State, and to 3 other schools that are just internships, not master's programs. I'm just praying I match and get in to just one. My actual first choice is a tie between UT and Life University, which is just a 9 month internship. It would be amazing to be completely finished in 9 months, but more of a hardship to relocate to GA. The good thing is that we still have a house there. But hopefully UT accepts me and we just stay put! They only accept 12 people, so I have to have a back up plan. I am also applying to one internship that is "by-distance" so you travel to them for a week and then they place you in rotations that are within an hour's drive from your home. But that one is my third choice, just because UT and Life both are more in line with my career goals, so they just make more sense. OK, I have rambled on enough - but it is good to get that stuff out of my mind! I hope you are all having a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend.

Happy Birthday, Brian (a little early)

This weekend we all went to Johnson City to surprise Brian for his birthday. His 60th is on December 1, so in order to surprise him, Cathie planned the party for this past Saturday. There was a great turn out, and we really had a great time. There was even a DJ and we all danced together! I will post pics once Janet and David send them to me, I let them be the photographers!

I have one more presentation on Monday, tomorrow at 10am! I am nervous for this one because we have been making adjustments and corrections on it as late as today. We are supposed to memorize it, and I am trying, but I am pretty sure I will just have to lose a few points for looking at my notes. I just need more time to put it to memory. This is for my clinical class and the presentation is on a case study with Cardiovascular Disease. I have learned a lot working on it, though, and it is a neat assignment. I have clinical again next semester, and I bet we will do something similar again.

Billie is doing good. She is trying to get over a cold. Actually, we have all had it. Matt and Billie are both doing better today, but I am still fighting mine. I am sure all of my late nights and early mornings studying have taken a toll on my immune system. But I get a four day weekend coming up, so hopefully I will have time to rest then!

We are all really looking forward to Thanksgiving. I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving, too! I will try to update over the weekend! Love to you all!

The Sweetener Rap!

Billie and Chandler helped my group with our creative piece to our presentation on sweeteners for a professional issues in dietetics class. I wrote the rap, and the girls performed it - on video. We did our presentation on Tuesday, and we ended it with this video. I will let you know when we get our grade, but everyone in the class was laughing so I think it went well!

Mommy Dance Day at Ballet

Tonight was Mommy Dance night at ballet. So guess what I did! Danced Ballet! It was so much fun! It is also so hard, they really make it look so easy and it just isn't. I, of course, wasn't dressed for it, but I didn't let that stop me. And they gave us tutu's to wear! Aren't we just precious? It really was so fun and I am so much more impressed with all that Billie can do, because it is just hard. We had the most wonderful time and I am so glad I was there today and got to do it with her. Sometime in February is their Daddy Dance week - won't Matt be cute in a tutu?

Everything is going smoothly, for the most part. Billie and I are both very busy with school and Matt and I are both busy with work. But we are all doing great, just busy. Blue is growing, thankfully. She had an incident last weekend where we found out she had swallowed some of her toys - whole! It was very scary but she is now fine, we think. We just have to be very careful with her around toys. She is as cute as ever and sweet, too. Hope everyone is good. That is all the time I have now for an update... more when I can, promise! Love to all!

Busy, Busy, Busy

Just a quick update. I actually poured my heart out in a blog earlier today on the prayer request page. I haven't updated the prayer requests in almost two years; the last one was January '09! I guess I forget that is there. I know when we built the website we thought we would have a year or more of raising conjoined twins and we would have daily requests, but since then I have struggled with prayer and I have finally realized that I have to give that up. When I am weakest, He is strongest. So I am giving that to God, I will struggle with it no more.

To give you a quick update. I started my new job at Mercy Hospital last weekend. It was a very hard, long day, but I loved it. I am thankful for the opportunity; I am learning so much about my field, and I also learned I really don't want to work in a hospital. How great is that to learn so early?! It was not bad getting there at 6am, but it was hard to stay until 4:30! I was so exhausted, but you have to work until the job is done - there is no one else to finish it. All in all, it went great and I had been nervous for nothing. I am looking forward to my next day at work, but I am thankful I am off this weekend. I need some rest for sure!

I had an exam this Monday in my clinical nutrition class; it was hard to work long days and then come home and study but it paid off and I performed well on the exam. Now looking ahead to the rest of the semester -but it is flying by so fast. I have several projects and papers to get done over the next 3 to 4 weeks - and then I will be done with the semester! Amazing! Even more amazing is January will be the start of my LAST semester of college! WHOOHOO! I see a light at the end of the tunnel and it is bright and beautiful and all worth it! Got to run Billie to the bus stop. Hope every one has a great day!