Happy 9th Birthday: A Love Letter to My Miracle Twin Boys

Wow. I can't believe you are 9, my precious boys. Actually, tomorrow is your birthday, but you are fiercely on my mind today.

I am having a hard time picturing you as big boys, but I am certain that you are big boys. I wish I could see you. I wish I could hold you, smell you, hear your sweet voices. But as much as I wish that I am also so happy for you. I know you sit at the feet of Jesus and worship with him daily. What a miracle that is.

I am so thankful that God sent his son so that you could be with Him in Heaven, and so that I will be with you again one day. I am so thankful God sent me you, my sons, to hold and love even for such a short time. You changed my life, my heart. I had no idea I needed those changes. You made my faith stronger, you showed me how to let go and let God. You brought me to my knees before the Lord, and restored my prayer life.

As hard as the loss of you was and is, I wouldn't change a thing. I know this was God's will for my life and yours and I am happy to accept that and be thankful for that.

God protected you in my womb and gave you life when there was hardly a possibility for it. Your life was short but it was peaceful. I believe you did not suffer. I will never forget how you, Caleb, heard my voice and looked up at me. Then you heard your daddy's voice and looked over to him and let out a little whimper. That was the sweetest of sounds and the only one I ever heard you make.

So now as I reflect back over the last 9 years, I try to see where the biggest changes in our family are because of you. I think I have settled on how I see my girls. How I probably would have not ever been a stay-at-home mom if it had not been for you. You showed me that time is precious and that we can never get back the time we have with our babies.

 I am certain everything about Harper and her fierceness and strong will is because of you, and that no other child could have survived and thrived like she has in her circumstances. I think you cheered her on and pushed her when she was struggling.

One of the sweetest blessings is how Harper talks about you and has always seemed to remember you. How, as an infant, she used to look at your pictures hanging in the house as if she missed you, as if she knew you before she knew us. You are still a part of our family and always will be, even after I take my last breath. Your sisters miss you, too.

I pray every night that you will come to me in my dreams, and you have twice. So tonight as I lay my head down,  I will ask God to please just give me a glimpse into Heaven to see how they are celebrating you. Enjoy your birthday boys. Thank you for the last 9 years and what you have done for our family. Not a day goes by that you aren't loved and remembered by us all.

Joshua and Caleb 7/15/08

Anias and Jadon McDonald

Good morning! I just wanted to reach out to all of you that prayed for us and our boys and request you start that prayer chain for two special boys, Anias and Jadon Mcdonald. You can follow their mommy on Facebook here : Nicole McDonald.  They are two beautiful conjoined twin boys and the plan is to separate the boys Friday.

They are conjoined at the head and share some brain tissue plus a great artery, among other things. I know you all know how dangerous and scary this is.  Please be in prayer for the surgeons and the surgical team, as well as the boys and their parents.

We will be wearing Tshirts we bought from their fundraiser and also doing a #randomactofkindness that day, as requested by Nicole, in honor of the boys. I know God is great and can do great things. I also know they are terrified to put their perfect boys through this surgery.

I never had to face this day with my boys, and while I am sad about that I am also thankful I didn't. I saw my boys as perfect, even though I know deep down they would not have had a normal life conjoined.

Harper said it perfectly yesterday. Just out of the blue she said, "Mommy, if Joshua and Caleb lived conjoined then they couldn't have walked like me or swimmed. That would have been really sad and hard."

That's what Nicole and Christian are facing, their boys can't really fully live conjoined, but they might not survive a separation surgery. We need to be on our knees in prayer for this family.  God will give them the strength.

"For in my weakness he is STRONGEST..." 2 Corinthians 12:9

Dress Code or Shame Code: Enforcing Outdated Rules

I wrote this post for Knoxville Moms Blog, but wanted to share it here, too.  It has been something that Billie and I have struggled with for years and since I now have a great outlet, I decided it was important enough to write about it. I know I will get some haters, anything controversial always does, but I also know there are tons of moms/girls that struggle the exact same way we do.  Give it a few minutes and read it, please!

Dress Code Shame Code: Enforcing Outdated Rules

Introducing My Boys to Our KMB Readers

I am sorry I am so late in posting this. I wrote this post on July 14, the day before the boys' birthday. It was a very hard post to write, and I was mentally and emotionally exhausted for days after.  I still don't really understand why, but it just was. I thought you all might want to read it, too.

http://knoxville.citymomsblog.com/one-heart-beat-two-babies-story-conjoined-twins/

44 Things I know at 43

Here is my latest post over at Knoxville Moms Blog! I love how this one turned out and I hope you will head over to read it ASAP, and that you love it as much as I do!

                                                            44 Things I know at 43

Easy Tortilla Lasagna

Today I am sharing my recipe for a wonderful, easy, and  nutritious dish-perfect for these cold winter days! Easy Tortilla Lasagna: Start it in the morning in your crock-pot, and finish it in the evening in your oven! 15 minutes or less prep time, and your house will smell amazing!!! (Click on the caption or the link above to see the recipe over at Knoxville Moms Blog!!

Easy Tortilla Lasagna

Sharing My Story-KMB

Hey guys! Just thought you all might enjoy my latest blog post over at Knoxville Moms Blog. I am sharing a little about family planning, and how I feel robbed of that part of my story! While you are there, click on the news letter so you don't miss a thing, and follow us on FaceBook, too! It is a wonderful compilation of writers, mommies, and inspiring women!

Knoxville Moms Blog