Happy Martin Luther King, Jr Day

Good morning! As promised, here are pics of Billie's Birthday party with her two very best friends, Brittany and Bailey. She had a wonderful time with them at McDonald's and then at the movies, too.

We are enjoying watching snow showers this morning. It is beautiful! Right now it is just beautiful in the air as it falls, but is starting to stick so if we end up with any amount I can photograph, I will share it with you guys. Billie has already asked if it keeps snowing can we go outside and play in it? So we have our fingers crossed around here!

Billie told us all about Martin Luther King, Jr last night. She learned about it and school and got to watch a really cool movie about it, too. We had the news on this morning and she asked me if I knew that he gave a speech in Washington D.C. She said was at the Lincoln Memorial. She wants to visit D.C. very bad, so we are going to have to work that into a family vacation before long. I loved D.C. when we were there for the boys. She was hoping we would decide to deliver there so she could live there for a couple weeks/months. Of course we were always a little worried about our decision to stay here and deliver, but now we know it was the right decision. The wonderful people in D.C. still call and check on us from time to time. We will always think so fondly of them. They gave us the information we needed and were so thoughtful and kind and knowledgeable. They treated us like we were royalty, too! We did get to tour a little bit one day, but I know there is a lot more that we want to see, too.

The boys would be six months old now, had they lived. I was thinking about that last night. Sometimes it seems like it should be longer than that because I can hardly remember what it felt like to hold them in my arms. Other times, it seems like it could not have been that long ago. It is so weird how your mind plays tricks on you like that. I still miss them so very much. We all do. Billie had a picture of them in the back seat of the car and showed them to her friends on our way to the movie. I heard her say "This one is Joshua and this one is Caleb." She is very proud of her little brothers and it made my heart just melt. I don't even know where she got that picture from, but it was one of the thank you cards that we sent out. She probably asked us if she could have it way back then, but I was so empty and hollow I just answered and do not even remember it at all. I know I would have thought that was so sweet and something to remember, but some days right after they died it was like I wasn't even in my body. I am so thankful to God that he brought me out of that trance -like state. I would not have wanted to live the rest of my life like that. God is so good, though, and he took care of us and Billie and helped us get stronger and whole again. Like I said before, I still miss them so much and I still wish I could hold them and kiss them again. But I know enough to realize just one kiss would never be enough, I would want more. I admit sometimes I try to put myself back to that day when they were born just so I can remember what it felt like to hold them. I have to eventually make myself stop because it hurts too bad. I hope one day I can look back and remember with out all the pain and just feel happy and thankful that God blessed us with our Miracle Twin Boys. Maybe one day.

Enjoy the pictures of Billie and her friends and have a wonderful Martin Luther King, Jr Day!!