Back to School

We have been so busy! Why is it when school starts back, so does everything else? Billie went back to school, and so did I. Plus her dance, piano, soccer and Wednesday night church all started back up, too! It has been crazy around here. Billie was also sick the first week of school. It was so sad. She went to school the first half day. The second day, which was the first full day, she went but the clinic called me at 8:30 saying she was in there with a fever and a headache and stomach ache. I immediately picked her up and when we got home her temp was 102.5! I was so worried; she never runs a fever. That was my first day of school. I had to attend classes otherwise I would be dropped from the class. Luckily our niece, Courtney, hadn't started school yet, she is attending another college here in Knoxville and they start a little later. So she came over and took care of Billie while I went to class. I was home in just a couple hours and took Billie to the pediatrician. She was so sick and hurting so bad she couldn't even walk in - I had to carry her! That hasn't happened since she was very little, mainly because she now weighs 70 lbs and I am just not able to carry her. So the final verdict was a sinus infection and a virus on top of that. She ran a fever until late Saturday afternoon, a full 4 days! So she missed the first three days of school, and had a ton of work to make up. She is all caught up now, and all better now, too. It was nothing serious, but she felt awful and it was so sad for her to miss the first week of school.

I was feeling very overwhelmed, but now I am feeling better about everything. I am taking 19 hours this semester, which is a lot but very doable. I just have to stay organized and diligent. I love the classes I am taking. I am finally learning how to put everything I have learned to practical use. I have a clinical class where I get to put all of my knowledge to use. It is a little scary, though. What if I didn't learn it good enough?! I guess we will see soon.

Blue is doing good, still trying to potty train but it is getting better. She is very good as long as I do not get too busy or distracted. But she does have accidents when I am not paying attention. She is still so sweet and so precious. We love her to pieces. I am so glad we have added her to our family. More later - time is a precious commodity lately!

Emma and Taylor Bailey

I was so saddened to hear that Emma and Taylor Bailey passed on August 10 due to complications during surgery. My heart is breaking for this family. I can only imagine what they must be going through. Joshua and Caleb were conjoined the same way as Emma and Taylor, but the girls had their own lungs and a bigger heart. They beat all of the odds their parents were given before their birth and lived to be 3 years old. But I know there is nothing that will comfort their parents today as they say good bye to their precious girls. I know God spared us so much pain by taking the boys shortly after birth, even though I sometimes envied the time The Baileys had with their girls, I know what they are going through today is much harder then what we endured. My prayers are with the family today, and will continue to be for many weeks and months to come. Please join me in praying for this precious family. You can find a link to their blog here on our blog, too, so you can follow their story.

A Blue Scare

Blue was very sick Wednesday morning. She woke up at 4:30 with diarrhea and vomiting and she felt hot to the touch and was lethargic. So I took her to the vet first thing that morning. When we got there the doctor said she thought it was parvovirus and she wanted to keep her there for observation and IV's. We were so scared! After just losing Bob on Saturday, the first thing poor Billie asked was "Are we going to have to put her to sleep?" It broke my heart. But the doctor was wrong and she ended up feeling better after a little IV and medicine. She got to come home at 5 that evening - and boy, was she happy to see Matt when he saved her from the vet! Poor thing, I am sure she had no idea why we had left her there, but it really was for the best. So she ended up having a water born bacteria that she caught from the lake. She is on an antibiotic and a special diet to help soothe her little belly for a few more days. She is feeling much better, though, back to her old self. She is also getting so big! She weighed 16.6 lbs when we took her in this week. Billie was so worried about her, as were Matt and I. I ended up with a migraine that night and I am sure it was stress-induced. You just hear parvovirus and you think the worst. The doctor said that there is an 85% success rate with treating parvovirus, but you all know how we constantly beat the odds in the wrong direction when it comes to health related issues, so that 15% seemed huge to us. It is amazing how bonded we have become with Blue and her with us in just 4 short weeks. But she is a huge part of our family now, and just being here during the day with out her here was so sad- and we even had and extra little girl, Chandler, here all week. We got to keep Chandler, our niece, during the day for the week. Billie and her had the best time together. They are so close, and I think the week together brought them even closer.

School starts Tuesday for Billie. She didn't get the teacher she was hoping for, but I am sure the teacher she got will be great. She did get her very best friend in her class this year, so she was very happy about that. She said it would all be OK because she would have Kailyn to share her troubles with! So cute! Kailyn is a very good little girl and we love that they get to be together again this year. I think if she hadn't been in her class, Billie might have had a nervous breakdown last night after finding out which class she is in. Bless her heart; I have given her the "gift" of worry. I only have myself to blame; neither Matt nor Michael were worriers like me. So please keep her in your prayers- that she stops the worrying and that she loves her teacher. I know Billie and she will not want to go to school if she doesn't like her teacher, and that would break my heart and just not be fair to her. Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Rest In Peace, Bob

Saturday we were forced to put Bob down, bless her heart. It was very peaceful, and we gave her lots of treats before hand. Friday night we took her out for ice cream and cheeseburgers, and gave her a whole bowl of popcorn, just for her. Saturday we took her to Johnson City and let Brian and Cathie tell her goodbye. We gave her more cheeseburgers and lots of doggy treats on the drive there. We took her to Karl Kapoor's office where they have been her Veterinarian her whole life. It was hard coming home and not having her here, but we know we had to do it. It was luxurious sleeping until 9 am Sunday morning and 7 am this morning, but it was bitter sweet. We really needed to get caught up on sleep as Bob hasn't been able to sleep in about two weeks, which means one of us was awake with her at all times. But I will miss her waking me up early so that I could have a productive morning, and I will hate waking up to an alarm - we haven't set one in at least two years! Waking up to a dog whimpering is much more pleasing than any alarm clock jolting you out of sleep, no matter what time it is! Matt is especially sad; she was his dog, after all. He lived with her almost as long as he lived with his parents! Billie took it harder than we imagined she would, but she is doing OK now. I am glad we have Blue to soften the blow for all of us. Bob may have been annoying in her old age, but we all loved her very much and she will be greatly missed. I am also thankful we had our family pictures made, just one week before we had to put her down, too. We had no idea at the time that she only had a week left, but we knew the time was getting closer. She just could not get comfortable and could not get any rest anymore.

Matt had a very bad weekend. Not only did he lose his 16 year old dog, but he also stepped on a piece of glass (we think it was glass, but didn't actually see it) in the lake and had to get 5 stitches in the bottom of his foot. He can't wear regular shoes, and he can't put his weight down on it. It was a very deep cut. Hopefully it will mend quickly and he will be good as new in a week or two. No golf for a while, though!

School starts next week for both Billie and myself. We are both ready to go back, I think. Billie is excited to see her friends and is hoping for one certain teacher (I won't mention who as to spare the feelings of all the fourth grade teachers.) I am excited that it is my final year in undergrad and I will graduate in May. I took the GRE last week, and it went great! I am still waiting for my final score, but I got my verbal and quantitative scores already and they added up to only 10 points less than my goal- so I decided that was good enough and I would just be happy with it! I am excited to see my analytical writing score because I really think that was my best part. I actually felt like I was cheating when I took it because the two choices I got were actually the two choices I had practiced at home from my preparation book! What are the odds? I told Matt it must have been God giving me a break for a change! I'll take it anywhere I can get it. But after I read the two options I was looking over my shoulder and up at the security cameras wondering if I was on a hidden camera show or something. I sped through the process and moved on to the verbal and quantitative and actually had time to spare on every section. It was really a relief. I was so nervous that I would go in there and bomb it. When I was studying for it I didn't feel like I was getting anywhere at all, but I guess I was. I was letting my decision to go to grad school be up to how I did on the GRE. I love school, love learning, and really want to get my masters and my RD, so I am glad the decision was easy and my scores were good. My hope is to get into the program at UT but it is very competitive so I may get rejected, and very disappointed. We don't apply until December, so I will let you know what happens. Wish me luck!

Family Pictures

We had family pictures made Saturday. We had a very good time, and got great pictures! We took everyone, even both dogs, to UT Gardens. It was a beautiful setting, and we beat the storm by about 10 minutes! We got so lucky.

To update everyone on Billie's time at Camp Wesley Woods-- She had a blast! She was already planning to go next year on the car ride home. Her favorite parts were the rock climbing wall and the camp out. I only heard of the camp out after I had dropped her off and it made me worry. My friend said her daughter hated it; they don't sleep in a tent, they have a tarp they throw over a rope strung between two trees and lay one down on the ground for the "floor." I was so worried it would rain or storm and that she might be scared. Now when we camp, we use a tent so she has been "real camping," and only "real camping." But you all know me well enough to know I have to worry about something, so I worried about that. I guess God showed me; making it her FAVORITE part of the whole week. Not the horses, not the swimming, not being with 13 girls her own age, but the camp out that I fretted over the whole time. I don't know why I can't stop worrying, but I am going to continue to work on it. Billie loved camp; she loved all the bible study and learning about Jesus she got to do, that was also a favorite part for her. She was very glad they spent a lot of time learning about the Lord. She also loved all the camp songs and has been singing them to me since she got home. I am so glad she had such a good time. That is a wonderful experience for her, and I am so thankful she got to do it.

I am taking the GRE tomorrow. I am so not ready, but I am scheduled so I will be taking it. Wish me luck. I have no idea how I will do, but I don't expect to do too well this first time. I will hopefully use it as a learning experience, and take it again in a few months to improve my score. Or maybe I will just get lucky and guess right! HEHE, I realize I am not a lucky person; so I plan on taking it twice.

I will let you know how it went, but no laughing at me behind my back!

Billie's Fist Time at Camp

Billie has been at camp this week, her first time at "sleep-over" camp. She comes home tomorrow, and I am ready! We got a letter from her yesterday; it said "Dear Matt and Mommy, I got your letter you sent me. I love you you are so cool. Love, Billie" And she drew a little picture for us, too. So sweet, and so frustrating. I so wanted to hear how camp was! Was she hot at night, did she fall in love with her horse, has she made a new "BFF," how is the food, how is your counselor?! I suppose I should have maybe told her something like that before she went, I just assumed she would write a letter explaining something about her experience at camp. I was so disappointed last night when I read the letter, I almost cried. But Matt was quick to remind me that if she didn't say "Help!" or "Come get me," she was probably having the time of her life. Tomorrow can't get here fast enough for me. I am so glad she was able to go, and I know she has had a great time, but it is hard not hearing from her. The letter yesterday did help a little, but, like I said, it wasn't enough information for me! I will try to blog Saturday and share her experience with you all.

Before and After

Before:

After:

We tried to grow grass several times. It was always pretty nice in the middle of the yard, but around the fence and in the corners it was yucky, muddy, moldy and messy. So this was a super fix for us. We planted juniper, knock-out roses, spirea, burning bushes, rhododendron and a couple different trees. Then we dug a trench and put a border in to keep the rocks in, and we finally put pea gravel in over everything. We still need to do something under the deck where grass just won't grow. Our yard is tiny, so we really want to put something green in there. Any suggestions anyone has will be greatly appreciated. We have thought of placing some pea gravel there or even pavers, just to keep the dogs from getting muddy, but we hesitate to change the illusion of a bigger yard by covering up all the green under there. We have also batted around the idea of some kind of ground cover like a low evergreen, or ivy. Whatever it is has to be able to grow in deep shade. We love our "new" back yard. It is so nice to be back there. I can't wait for the weather to cool off a little now so we can also enjoy it in the day, not just evening and morning. Every plant was planted in honor of the boys birthday, and it makes me feel so good to have given life to something in their memory, even if it was only plants. It just feels good to be doing something positive. There is always that little nagging urge to stay in bed and pull the covers over my head and just wallow in my grief and I am so glad I am able to turn that into such a positive thing for my family to enjoy for years to come. We have to be out there several times a day with the new puppy, so it might as well be a pleasing place to be!

Update on Billie's Ears: All is well! She is all better from the infection and the swimmer's ear is all cleared up, too. We took her to the Audiologist and while she does have tiny bit of hearing loss, it should repair itself on it's own and quickly. The doctor said she has "selective hearing loss" which we already knew, anyway! He cleared her to swim and enjoy the rest of her summer!

Billie goes to camp soon. I can't believe I am letting her go for 5 days! But she has a friend from church going with her and I know she is going to have a blast. Let's just hope I survive the week!

On a sad note, today is the anniversary of Michael's death. I will find time to sneak over to the cemetery, but I do not mark it in Billie's memory. I want her to have positive thoughts of her Daddy, so we celebrate his birthday and Father's Day and not his death. Who knows if I am doing the right thing, but I know I promised him I would always keep his memory alive, and marking his death just doesn't feel like I am doing that; it makes me sad and why would I want to make Billie sad? She already misses him without me saying a word. I will probably hug her more today and talk about her daddy more today, but I will not tell her why. Of course if she asked anything about his death, I would always be honest with her. When she thinks of her Daddy I want it to be happy memories, and I know that is what he wanted for her, too.