It's Been Too Long

I am sorry I haven't updated in so long. Honestly, I have been struggling and I am sure all of you are not surprised by that. I feel much stronger today, finally. But I know that may not be the case tomorrow. I really plan on continuing the blogging as it is very therapeutic for me, and I know a lot of you like to get the updates. I will try not to wait so long next time. I just have gotten very sad over the past couple weeks, and did not have the energy to write about it.

Billie is back in school, and LOVING it! She loves her teacher, and it is such a wonderful blessing. We have been so fortunate to have great teachers every year. She was so sweet this morning; on our way to school she said "OH! I can't wait to see Ms. Merryman!" I asked her why and she said because she is so nice and she loves her so much. This is only day 5 of the year! I am looking forward to another wonderful school year. Everything has started this week, dance, piano, soccer and choir at church. That is helpful for me to keep me busy. It is nice to have things we have to do again.

I am healing so good now. I am able to go for short walks and I am driving again. I still get very worn out after a few hours of activities, so I have to pace myself and remind myself that I did just have surgery a month ago. I am able to do some household chores again, too, and I know Matt is SO happy about it! Bless his heart, he never complained one time, but he is so thankful for the help now. I won't be scrubbing floors any time soon, but dishes and laundry are easy for me to take care of now. Since that's what piles up quickly, it is a blessing that I am able to keep up with it again.

Emotionally we are healing, but it is something that is going to take time. Joshua and Caleb have changed us forever. I am a different person today because of them and they will always be a part of our family. We miss them so much, and sometimes that completely takes over. In our minds they were so perfect and beautiful, but if we remind ourselves that they would have suffered pain if they had lived longer, we are comforted by the fact that they are with Jesus now and not suffering at all. They would be one month old today. I am so thankful to God that they did not suffer or know pain. God is good and he took care of them and us. He blessed us with precious time, the exact right amount of time for his perfect plan. I know as perfect as we see them, God sees them even more perfect and loves them even more.

As I said before, I will try to blog regularly and not let another two weeks go by with out updating you again. We still get cards and I know there are so many of you that continue to pray for us. Thank you all for your loving support, it means so much to us and helps us get through each day. We are so blessed to have loving friends and family, and I thank God for you every day.