For When I am Weak, Then I am Strong

Sunday morning Matt mentioned he would like to visit Cokesbury United Methodist that morning if I was up to it. I think it was the first thing out of his mouth when he woke up, actually. I was up to it so we got ready and went. I am convinced God wanted us there that morning to hear the message. They also had the Lord's Supper and we got to do that together and pray together. It was a very emotional morning for us, exhausting actually, but it has stuck with all three of us. I am so thankful we were there. I want to share with you what I learned from the sermon. I hope I do not butcher it too bad!

The message was from 2 Corinthians 12:7- 10, and it reads: "To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

I am sure you have seen the visa commercial with the runner from the '96 Olympics that was hurt in the middle of his race and his father runs down on the track and carries his son across the finish line. The minister used the story here to explain how God, as our father, wants to do that for us. He is strongest when we are weakest. I realized sitting there that I am at my weakest, my situation has beaten me, but I go on every day because God is carrying me through. God is so strong, and his love for us is all around us. I completely feel in the presence of God, and I completely feel his hands on my life, on my family and on my miracle twin boys. No matter the outcome, I know that God will get me through this. I can not imagine what it will be like to hold these boys, to meet them face to face and finally lay my eyes on them. I can not imagine what it will be like if I also have to give them up. It seems like an impossible task, especially after feeling them move inside of me for the past several months. I know that it is a real possibility, though, and as much as I hate it and dread it, I know that God will carry me through it, as he always has. God is my "Dad" that wants to protect me from hurting, wants to take my burdens and carry them for me. I just have to let him. He wants to do that for all of his children, and it is so amazing that he can and he does. Needless to say, it was a humbling experience for Matt and I, and I am so thankful for the powerful message that was needed to be heard by us, and for God getting us there that morning, too. He has a plan, and it is so GOOD.

Billie also got a lot out of the message, she shared it with us later that night. It is funny how you can hear the same thing, but get a totally different lesson out of it. The message was titled "Life is Too Short- To Give Up" and it was when she was saying her prayers that night that she asked God to let the minister know "that he is wrong, that life is not short as long as you believe in Jesus you will have eternal life." It was precious, and we were impressed that she had been listening. She is getting so big, and she is such a blessing to us in so many ways. God gets to us through her a lot, and it is so powerful.

OK, I hope I gave that the justice it deserved. Moving on to our doctor's visit on Monday. I didn't gain any weight, which I thought very exciting! I did grow 2cm more, however. The boys heart beat was back up to 128bpm. They are head down, which is much more comfortable on me, and they are hiding their faces, for the most part. We did get a picture of one of them, and I will try to get it up this week for you. I do not know whose face it is, but since they are identical, I guess it doesn't really matter!

I went in with a missing voice and not feeling very well from a sore throat, and they gave me some meds and "tickled my throat" ( as Billie calls it), but the strep test came back negative. I am finally feeling and sounding much better today. Overall, not much has changed and it was once again a very good visit. We will go again on Tuesday and hopefully get some more information as far as delivery and dates. It is still bothering us that our doctors do not agree on how to do the c-section so we have requested that they get together and work out a plan and then sit down with us on Tuesday and go over it with us. I am so anxious about delivery, after all this is surgery, and the fact that they do not agree is just too much on me. I know things may change once they begin and see what they are facing, but I need a tentative plan that they can all agree on. And since we will be 34 weeks, we feel it is time to get some kind of a date nailed down. We are both planners, so it will just give us a little feeling of control, and that will be comforting. It probably will not matter what we plan, God's in control of this as he has been from the start, so we are only kidding ourselves with a date!