Bless Billie's Ears

My cousin Kelly was in town from Virginia to visit us this week and took some great photos of Billie and I in Elkmont. We enjoyed Kelly's stay so much and were all sad for her to leave this morning.

I wanted to give everyone an update on Billie's ears; the infection is all cleared up, thankfully! She does have some hearing loss still, though, so we are going to have them tested by an audiologist at the ENT. Hopefully they can get to the root of the problem and we can get her back up to hearing 100% quickly. Molly (our nurse practitioner that is treating Billie) said that she could see some scarring on the ear drum. She also said there could still be some fluid back behind the ear drum that she just can't see but that the audiologist would be able to find and tubes would be an easy fix to the problem. I am hoping by our Monday appointment that she has regained a lot of her hearing if not all of it and we get a clean bill of health. I do ask you all to pray for her, though. I feel just awful about the whole thing still. I should have taken her in earlier, and I will not make that mistake again, hopefully! Bless Billie's heart - and EARS! She loves music so much, it would be absolutely horrible if her hearing is permanently damaged. But Molly does not think this hearing loss is permanent, so we are just praying that it is temporary and short lived!

I can't finish the blog without mentioning July is a huge month for us. July is sad and a very hard month for me to get through. We lost Michael six years ago on July 21, and of course the boys were born and passed on July 15, 2008. I can not believe it has been two years since I held my beautiful babies, and I can't believe Michael has been gone six years. We also lost my grandma on July 29, 8 years ago. Needless to say, I could take the whole month of July and stay in bed and hibernate through it, but I choose to push on instead. Some days I am so bitter, and I am angry. But other days I am just thankful that God saw me through my losses and try to hold on to my faith that He has a wonderful plan in store for me and my family- so much better than I can even imagine. I am pretty ready for that plan to be shown, but I know I have to wait for God's timing not my own. I know there is a reason for everything that happens, and that God will use it all to glorify His name, but I am not a very patient person. It is hard to remain faithful but when I am struggling I continue to remind myself that when I am weakest He is strongest and God's Grace is sufficient for me. Some days I have to repeat that to myself over and over again, but it eventually gets through my stubborn bitterness and it always makes me feel better and gives me renewed Hope in God's plan for our lives.

I promise to update the blog as soon as I know something about Billie's ears, and I am also going to try to put some pictures of the boys up next week as well as blog about some memories from our pregnancy and their birth. Love to everyone!