Incomplete

I guess you all have figured out, when I am quiet it means I am not doing very well. I am feeling better today, though, so I wanted to at least post something. I know you all check often and everyone is praying for us, and we need that so much. I just have felt very "incomplete" the last few days. I have prayed and prayed for God to take that feeling away from me. I know it will be in his time, though, not mine. But I know he will. I have asked to feel more like myself, and today I sure do. So I still feel God with us, and I still feel the prayers of others for us. I just feel like I have empty arms. Everything I am feeling is totally normal, I just let it take over for a couple days. But not today. I just miss my baby boys. I can't help that, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Missing them this much just shows me how much I really did love them. That makes me lucky. They are so beautiful and sweet and strong. I wouldn't change what happened because I know it all happened exactly the way God planned it. God doesn't make mistakes, and my boys are no exception. They are actually God's boys, just like all children are. He honored me with being their mother here on Earth, but they were his from the start. I wouldn't take them away from God now, because I know they do not hurt and can not be hurt. I could not have done that for them here. How awesome it must be to be in the presence of Jesus! I can picture them being held by the loving arms of Jesus, and I see sweet smiles on their beautiful faces. I imagine Jesus reflection on them, his amazing glow casting light on their smiling faces. It is a beautiful image in my mind. I see that today, and I am holding on to it for the rest of my days because it has lightened my load and made me feel more whole than I did yesterday. I still miss them, but at least I see them happy and with Him. How could I wish for anything else for my children? To be in heaven with the Lord is all we could ever want for our children, and I do not have to worry about them any more. So today I will hold on to that, and let my mind imagine the perfect place they are in with our heavnly Father and allow that to make me feel less incomplete. I have no doubt that my prayers have been answered today and that image is from God. God is Good!