Wednesday, January 11, 2012


My girls are amazing sisters. Harper looks at Billie with such adoration, even at this young of an age. I hope that never changes. Billie absolutely is the most loving, tender, sweet, 10 year old big sister that ever could be. She is selfless when it comes to her sister. That amazes me every single time. She also loves to hold her sister and cuddle with her. She is always asking if she can "wash up and hold her." She sings to her all of the time, and makes up silly songs to entertain her with. She reads to her a lot, too. She just loves to spend time with her in any way. The other day Harper was fussy and I needed to wash bottles, Billie volunteered to lovingly sit on the couch and hold her fussy sister and before I knew it, Harper had fallen asleep in Billie's arms. I went to take her from Billie to lay her down, and Billie protested "OH, don't take the sweet wittle thing," so I just let her sit there and snuggle with her. I should have taken a picture of it, but I didn't. Billie could be watching TV, reading, riding her bike, or playing with friends but instead she wants to love on her baby sister. That may change as they both get older but for now I am going to watch it and enjoy it so that I can remember it always. It is so comforting to know that they will always have each other, even after we are gone, the girls will have each other to lean on and grow old with. I thank God several times a day for blessing me with these two amazing girls. They are both such miracles in their own ways. I know everyone feels this way about their children, and to most my girls are not any more special then the next, but I see in them a light that sparkles brighter than any other light I have seen before. Just being with them warms my soul and fills my cup to overflowing. Sometimes I let myself miss my boys and day dream about what our home would be like if they were sharing it with us, too. I know they would only make our lives that much brighter and fuller. But I also know they would have had pain and sorrow here and I don't want that for them. I am thankful they are with Jesus and I know they are whole and happy. Thank you God for my beautiful children, all 4 of them!

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

New Year, New Resolutions

I am always apologizing for not blogging enough, so just know that I am always planning on blogging, daily really, but I jut don't always have the time. To catch you up, we had a great Christmas. It was so good to be together as a family and enjoy each other. Matt was sick with a respiratory virus and Harper got sick the day after Christmas with a respiratory virus and it was pretty bad but she did amazing. Matt stayed away from her from the minute he felt symptoms until he was well, but she still ended up catching it. She was a little fussy and didn't eat or sleep well, but once we got her started on the right breathing treatments she started to improve quickly. Bottom line, she was sick for about 10 days, but did not have to be hospitalized or on antibiotics and with her little lungs that was a miracle and we are thrilled. Since Harper didn't want to be set down at all, and she didn't want me to sit down either, I am pretty exhausted now and glad Matt is all better and can help again. She is feeling great and back to herself, too.

She learned to roll over this week! We are so proud, but now every time we lay her down she rolls to her tummy and this causes all kinds of anxiety for me! For the last few nights I have been flipping her back over to her back and she either wakes up or flips right back to her stomach. Needless to say, I haven't gotten much sleep. I have been praying that, of course, she will be OK even on her tummy, but also that God will teach me how to stop worrying and just give my worries over to Him. Be careful what you pray for, I know. I also keep telling myself that when Billie was a baby she had reflux so bad and I actually laid her on her belly to sleep because that was the only way she would sleep. She was much bigger than Harper, of course, but she was about the same age - 4 months old, which is Harper's corrected age, when we started putting her to bed on her belly. I still will never put Harper to bed on her belly, but at least I can get some comfort from these memories. Harper is great at rolling over, though, and I am very proud of her and how far she has come! She is trying to sit up now, too. If you sit her on your legs with her head on your knees she will do crunches in her attempt to sit up. It is so cute, and she even makes little grunting noises when she does it. She is a long way from sitting up on her own, but we can see her building those muscles in order to be able to.

I wanted to mention New Year's Resolutions here on my blog, mostly so that I have a record of what I thought of, and so I am held accountable, too. I have never made resolutions before, but I felt inspired by a mutual blogger/friend of mine who has similar goals and ideas as my own. So here goes, my resolutions for 2012 are:

1. Be in the Word every day. (So far so good, but I have always struggled with this my whole adult life - just saying.)

2. Get organized. (I could list in what areas, but really it is every area!)

3. Write and research how to get published. (Matt and others in my life are always telling me I should write a book, and I really want to so I am going to put that want into action. I will never have this opportunity again because I will eventually have to go to work and I do not want to waste it.)

4. Run again. (I started running again shortly after I had Harper and gave it up because it was just too soon and I wasn't healed from surgery yet. I used running to help me survive losing the boys and it turned out to be so therapeutic and amazing for me emotionally and physically. I need that back in my life and I miss it terribly.)

OK, now it is out there and I have to do it, right? I will address them from time to time, and you can all feel free to ask me about them if you want. I have this amazing life and such wonderful blessings and I want to share them and bless others, too. Resolutions have always just seemed like a waste of time, something people say they are going to do and never do. But I do want to make positive changes and what better time to make those changes than the beginning of the year? I am sure there are a lot of other changes in my life that I need to make, but these four have been on my mind for a while now. I want to be a person of action, not just always thinking, talking about, or planning to do things. At least I don't have any bad habits I have to give up for the new year! (Matt and Billie might disagree with that statement!)

And now...some pictures to make you smile until next time!

On her belly, I had just laid her down!

In her car seat loving on Minnie Mouse!

Sucking her thumb- she always has her hands in her mouth. She loves to shove her entire fist in her mouth, especially right after a meal - you know what then happens!