Thursday, July 17, 2008

They Are Miracle Twin Boys



They are miracle twin boys. Where do I begin today? It is with a heavy heart that I share with you the news of our two beautiful miracles. They were such a blessing to us and we want everyone to know that. They were perfect. They lived for about an hour and a half. We got to hold them for twenty minutes while they were still living. Those twenty minutes were the most precious twenty minutes we have ever experienced. Joshua was born first, he was delivered head first while Caleb was born about 30-45 seconds later breach, figure that one out!! The doctor did struggle to get them out, but the surgery could not have gone better. We do not know the exact second their heart stopped beating, but I do think Caleb passed a few minutes before Joshua did. A mother knows, that is the only way to explain it. They were so peaceful the entire time. They did not have mature lungs, and they didn't have enough lung capacity to survive. They did try very hard though, and the doctors and nurses from the NICU did everything they could for our boys. God blessed us with what time we did have. As much as we love them, we know God loves them even more and now they are two boys living and breathing with Jesus. God our father is holding us through this and we feel his love and we know that he did what was best for us and for Joshua and Caleb.

We have some beautiful photographs that our photographer came and captured and we will share those with you later. We did want to give you something, so the pictures here we took of each other during our time with the boys. We kept them with us until early Wednesday morning. Billie came and saw them and was so brave and sweet. She was able to kiss them and touch them and tell them good bye. We could not have been more proud of the way she handled herself.

I know everyone is wondering about a service, and we just haven't been able to think about that yet. We will update here as soon as we have made arrangements, but that will not be for a few more days. I have to heal some physically, and we both need to prepare ourselves emotionally before we tackle that.

Know that we are loving each other through this. We miss our babies so much but we know that they are with Jesus and they are precious in His sight. They were God's children before they were ours. The most important thing you could want as a parent for your children is a relationship with God. Our boys not only know God but they are with him. We imagine him rocking them and bouncing them on his knee. If it were not for God, we could not do this. We asked him to hold us through this and he has and he is. We are very blessed by God and we are very thankful to Him for the gift he gave us. In the beginning we said we just wanted to hold them alive, if even for a few minutes, and God allowed us that time. We will forever hold that memory in our hearts. Together we share a memory of the best twenty minutes of our lives and no one can ever take that away from us. We know what it felt like to be the parents of Joshua and Caleb. We are blessed by God.

14 comments:

The Nanny said...

I have been reading your blog for a few weeks but never commented. But I wanted to say your boys are beautiful, and I am thinking of you guys and praying for peace and comfort for you!

~ Care ~ said...

I am so sorry. My parents and I have been praying for your family for months. We will continue to pray for you as God carries you through this.

~ Carrie Lynne Denny, FUMC, Johnson City

Anonymous said...

I have been following your blog for several weeks as well. My heart goes out to you and your precious family. Your little boys have touched many lives. May God keep you close during this time.

P. Davis said...

Joshua and Caleb are so beautiful! You were so truly blessed to have the time with them that you had! You both have shown such enormous faith in the face of such an overwhelming situation, you are an inspiration to all mothers and fathers. Tell Billie that her baby brothers are just as beautiful and special as she is...and I know they will be watching over their big sister as she grows up. My heart breaks for your loss and I will continue to lift you all up in my prayers.

Walt and Pam said...

Our love and our prayers are with you. Your testimony of Christian faith, hope and peace are a witness to countless others. Joshua and Caleb are now in our Father's care but remain in all our hearts until that day we can all be reunited. May God's grace engulf all your sorrows.

- Walter & Pam Crouch

r. said...

Congratulations on your beautiful boys. I'll be praying for you during this tough time.

Christine said...

I just read everything on your site--I followed a link from Care -- I hope you don't mind. I know what a personal time this is for you. I'm so very sorry. I can't begin to imagine what this was like for you. I wanted to tell you I was so touched by your faith, your inner peace, your love. Your strength is amazing. You are in my prayers.

jaymie said...

I praise God that He blessed you with such miracles...even if for a short time. Joshua and Caleb were and are loved by so many just as you are loved.

Rest in the knowledge that so many people love you and are holding you in their prayers.

Anonymous said...

God bless you for the faith you have shown through this time in your lives. What an incredible testimony you are to those around you. We are praying for your family as you journey on this road.
Peace to you.

TJohnson said...

Blessings to you all. you have never met me and we will probably never met, but i read about your boys and was touched. it is not often that i will reach out to total strangers, but please accept my heartfelt prayers for your family. i'm not sure i could hold up as you have under the circumstances and your strength is a true testament to God's grace and mercy. continued prayers for your family and God has already blessed you.

Anonymous said...

I read the obituary in the Johnson City paper this morning. It was the first time I heard your story and I am so sorry for your loss. I'll have to say, those were two beautiful little boys! God bless your family. More people are thinking of you than you could ever imagine.

Dawn said...

I pray for you and your family. God will take care of you.
Dawn

Jane(UK) said...

What a mixture of emotions you must have going on.
Your beautiful boys may have only lived for a short time on earth, but they will live in your hearts forever.
My thoughts are with you
Jane (UK) x

Anonymous said...

My heart goes out to you as you make it through this difficult time, but may you find comfort and peace knowing that Joshua & Caleb will always have each other, and will live a peaceful life with God; until the day that you will be reunited with them. You, your daughter, and your future children are blessed because you will always have these two special angels to watch over and guide you.