I Owe You an Apology

I am so sorry, I have done a terrible job of keeping everyone up to date on my blog. I was just looking through a history, and I had no idea I had done so little. Please forgive me, and while I will promise now to try to do better, I know it may not be possible. But, I promise I will try. We are so busy all of the time, but not a whole lot changes and there has not been that much new stuff going on. Billie keeps us going with Piano lessons, soccer practice and games, ballet class, school and church. She is busy every night of the week except Friday! But it is all fun, and she enjoys it so much.

We went to Atlanta weekend before last to check on Matt's house there. We have renters that are wonderful. We just needed to check in because we had not since they moved in almost a year ago. They are fantastic, we could not ask for better renters. We are hopeful they will stay a long time, since now is not the time to sell a house. We got to spend time with our friends Greg and Leslie and their children, Keaton and Lauren. We had a nice visit, and Billie and Lauren had an excellent time together. We hope to get down there more often, and this trip was a quick one, we would rather have more time with them.

On the 16th we get to go see Evan graduate from basic training. We are so excited for that. The time has passed so quickly, I can't believe it is time for him to graduate already. I am sure it has not passed as quickly for him, though. We are going to get to spend some time with him and his mom, Joan. It should be wonderful. Billie gets to miss two days of school to go, so I know she will be happy! Although, she loves school, she would rather have fun with Evan than be at school. The next week is fall break, so she will have lots of time off. We still haven't decided how we will spend her fall break, but it will be fun no matter what we do. Last year she got to go to Disney with her grandparents! Nothing like that is planned this year, but we will make it fun.

As far as how we are doing, we are doing better, I think. We still have bad days, sad days, and just hard days. Yesterday we both missed Joshua and Caleb so much. I don't know why yesterday, but we did. This weekend Cathie, Matt's mom, bought all kinds of stuff to make some decorations for the cemetery, so her and Janet and I worked on them together. We ended up with two beautiful arrangements, and one amazing wreath. They looked so good, very fall-ish and she got two little teddy bears for the wreath that were adorable. It warmed our hearts and made us feel closer to our baby boys. I guess I have been angry for a few weeks now. I don't know why or where it comes from, or even who it is directed at. But I just have some anger that I am trying to deal with. I think it is just a part of the grieving process. It is just something I have to deal with. It isn't over powering, but it is there. So, I pray about it and try not to feel sorry for myself. I don't like feeling this anger, and I am going to get rid of it with God's help. It's not that I am angry at God, not at all. Like I said, I am not sure who it is at and maybe I need to figure that out before I can really get rid of it. Maybe it is just at the situation. When I figure it out, I will let you know.

I promise to try harder to update you more often! Don't give up on me. I still covet your prayers and your encouragement, and so does Matt.