Monday, January 26, 2009

O'Charley's, OFFENSIVE

I hate to have to even post this, but I am so angry right now I know it will actually make me feel better to get it off my chest. I don't know if any of you have seen the O'Charley's commercial, I just saw it today. It is what is supposed to be conjoined twin men working at a computer, although they are not identical so clearly they are not conjoined twins, but sit side by side and appear to have one shirt with two neck's, etc. One of the men gets fired, and they say something about the chicken being twice dipped or battered or something and one of the men says "that's good for us." and then later, they are shown at the same computer station and the one that was fired has a stupid disguise, a huge mustache, and a coworker asks "whose the new guy?" They are obviously teasing about the fact that they can not be separated and how only one of them was fired. It makes me so mad, but it also breaks my heart. It is a form of discrimination and it can not be tolerated. I see lots of "conjoined twin" jokes all around us and I do not understand why we let it go on. I will be the first to admit, before Joshua and Caleb I would not have known to do anything about it. I simply did not realize that conjoined twins actually happen, certainly not to me. But I would not have found it the least bit humorous, of this I am certain. It is not funny. No more funny than it would be if they made fun of anyone with a birth defect, a disability or some other "thing" that is completely out of the persons control and is so hurtful. You would think as a country we have come so very far. Why is it that we can still be so ignorant? I understand it is something that is very different, but that doesn't give anyone the right to tease. They have souls and feelings and wonderful spirits and talents to contribute to our society. And I am certain that God loves them every bit as much as he loves any one else. (Although sometimes I wonder if he didn't love them even more and that is why he took them so soon! Only the good die young, right?) I know beautiful girls that are still conjoined and they are so wonderful and so special and they have good lives with dreams and goals. I also know beautiful boys and girls that were once conjoined and are now separated, and they too are so wonderful and special and their family's would be forever devastated with out them. I know this is close to my heart, which is still so raw from the loss of Joshua and Caleb, but I think we all had so much to learn from the boys and from Melanie and Madison, too. This has to be one of the lessons: "Do not judge a book by it's cover!" ( I am sorry not to cite a source, but I have no idea where it began, but I do know my parents taught it to me and I always remembered it and tried to live by it.)
Jesus accepts everyone for who we are: "An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for ALL THE PEOPLE." Jesus died for all of us, not just the people that fit nicely into the mold society has decided is correct.
I also know I can not hold on to bitterness, and that I must forgive all the people that hurt me and my children. You can read Genesis 33:1-11 and see how Jacob must have been surprised by Esau's attitude when he came back home. We actually considered Jacob and Esau as names for the boys because we did like the story, but once we read Joshua and Caleb's story, there was no contest! I learned from Jacob and Esau (I am sure because God knew I would have bitterness that he didn't want me to hold on to) that life can be so hard and hand you the short end of the stick. We can feel like life just isn't fair, as I know Esau did, but we can not hold onto bitterness. We can go to God and tell him how we feel and then ask him to forgive us and then we must forgive those that have hurt us. I have also had bitterness about the boys' death, because I am so human! But I ask God to forgive me, and then I am thankful for what I had with them and that they are in heaven and not in pain. I fight bitterness, not daily as I did early on, but a lot. I have to remind myself to count my blessings, which are so plentiful! So even as I write this entry in my blog, I am struggling with forgiving who ever had a part in the ad campaign, but I will get there. And I will be much happier and better off because of it. See... I knew this would help me! I feel so much better already. Thank you for putting up with my ranting an raving until I calmed down. Now, if any of you want to voice your own complain to O'Charley's, I happen to have the link so that you can go straight there quickly and easily! (Not to be mean to them, but just to educate them that conjoined twins are not to be made fun of! I feel strongly we have a responsibility to educate everyone) http://www.ocharleys.com/locationcomment/

I love you all, and I really appreciate your love and support and especially your prayers! XOXO

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Crystal,
I have followed your story over the past several months. My prayers have been for your family. I just want you to know that I emailed O'Charley's about their offensive and insensitive add.
God bless you,
Elizabeth

Jason and Vanessa said...

What a great post I will email them right away. I agree with you before we had conjoined twins I just knew it never happened only in the news. But there are more conjoined twins born than we could ever know and even more conceived. I pray that people would become more educated. I'm so thankful that the Lord gave us conjoined twins! Although it has been hard God has been so good! We love you guys and pray for yall often!

Vanessa Delgado